First and foremost, I would like to thank Palouse Mindfulness for not only providing a free online MBSR course, but for providing an EXCELLENT AND DIVERSE free online MBSR course. I can’t put into words how much you have helped me out.

       I won’t lie; I can’t remember one night in 8 weeks that I looked forward to waking up early in the morning and meditating. I dreaded the new informal practice sheets that would appear each week. I quickly grew impatient with the lengthy articles and videos that seemed to grow longer and longer.

       In spite of these frustrations, I persisted with the course, waking every morning and conducting yet another 30 minute reflection, whilst diligently completing my practice sheets. For a long time though, I was ignoring my reality. I thought that, perhaps, by focusing on the pizza slice in my hand and writing about it later, I would somehow generate spiritual enlightenment akin to the Buddha’s. I was wrong.

       Mindfulness isn’t about crossing your legs and ohm-ing for hours every day, nor is it about finding ‘inner peace’, or some kind of tranquil balance with nature. For those first three weeks, my stereotypical assumptions blinded the actuality of what I was experiencing: a crunchy, yeast-risen piece of pizza. It was tasty, but it didn’t transform me into the 15th Dalai Lama.

       I think it was approximately six weeks in that I realised there would be no surreal illumination. Honestly, this was quite disappointing. I mean, I had dedicated myself to at least 25 hours of meditation, filled out the compulsory sheets and persistently completed my homework for six whole weeks. Why shouldn’t I be the next Dalai Lama?

       The answer to my egotistic question is, in fact, the root of the question itself: mindfulness.

       I was so sincerely frustrated with the apparent fruitlessness of my efforts, that I had completely forgotten the fundamental principles of mindfulness: AWARENESS OF THE PRESENT MOMENT. Engulfed in the fervour of my spiteful emotions towards the practice of mindfulness, I focused my energy on “wasted time” in the past. This was, in the words of Jon Kabat-Zinn, “a prescription for unhappiness”.

       Through engaging and partaking in mindfulness, one hopes not to attain a state of higher being, nor even to transform into a calmer version of oneself. The goal (or at least my goal) in mindfulness is to develop a “greater sense of awareness” and compassion for myself and for others around me, as well as creating a tool to apply to stressful and anxious situations. Adopting a more altruistic nature fertilises the seeds of joy, allowing them to grow and flourish like never before.

       When I finally stopped thinking about myself and what I was getting out of these past eight weeks, I was at last able to find at least a small portion of the peaceful mindfulness I had been seeking.

       I have recently implemented breathing spaces and mindful eating into my day, and plan on developing and evolving my mindfulness skills for the continued duration of my happier life.